Comebacks and roasts are an art form. A perfectly timed zinger can leave your target speechless or get a round of laughs from friends. Though roasts are meant to be funny, good-natured jabs, they still require some finesse. Going below the belt or getting overly personal can cross the line.
The key to an artful roast is being clever, not cruel. You want to get a laugh without creating bad blood. This list provides inspiration for roasts suitable for haters or joking with friends. Use wit and humor to show you can take a joke…and serve one, too.
10 Funny Roasts to Comeback at Haters
Haters look for opportunities to tear others down. Don’t let them have the satisfaction. These comebacks put loudmouth critics in their place without sinking to their level.
- I’d give you a nasty look but you’ve already got one.
- If your brain was dynamite, there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.
- I’d insult you but nature did a better job.
- You must have been born on a highway because that’s where most accidents happen.
- I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.
- I’ll never forget the first time we met. But I’ll keep trying.
- Your face makes onions cry.
- Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, you just gargled.
- You’re about as useless as a screen door on a submarine.
- I thought of you today. It reminded me to take the garbage out.
10 Savage Roasts to Insult Your Best Friends
The difference between roasting a friend versus an enemy is simple: endearment. The harshest digs from friends come from a place of love. These zingers mock your closest compadres in fun.
- You’re so ugly when you popped out the doctor said “Aww what a treasure” and your mom said, “Yeah, let’s bury it.”
- I don’t engage in mental combat with unarmed opponents.
- You’re the reason the gene pool needs a lifeguard.
- If you spoke your mind, you’d be speechless.
- The only way you’ll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken’s rear and wait.
- If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
- You’re so stupid you’d climb a clear glass wall just to see what’s on the other side.
- I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.
- You have two brain cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
- I’m jealous of all the people that haven’t met you!
Tips for Effective Comebacks
- Remember to be witty and clever
Trading insults is not a time to reuse old jokes or obvious observations. Clever, original zingers show quick wit and humor.
- Use humor to diffuse the situation
A roast said in jest with a smile or laugh puts everyone at ease. Making it clear you don’t intend real harm keeps things lighthearted.
- Don’t take insults personally
Letting an insult land just gives insulting haters what they want. Maintain confidence in yourself rather than giving weight to thoughtless attacks.
- Keep comebacks light-hearted
Hitting too hard at sensitive spots loses friends and breeds resentment. The ultimate goal is smiles, not tears.
- Know when to walk away
If a hater can’t be reasoned with, don’t bother. Not every insult deserves a comeback – especially from mean-spirited people. Ignore them and move on.
Roasts and comebacks are tricky. Done right, trading barbs can be a blast. If said wrong, they lose friends and provoke fights. Before lobbing an insult, think about intent and context. At the end of the day, the goal is laughter, not shame or pain. A clever, funny roast is the height of wordplay when done in the right spirit. Just ensure it’s something you and the target will smile about later.